Knots

A brazen lie feels like somebody spitting in your face. Betrayal leaves you ruminating with resentment. The worst thing about being stabbed in the back is having to trust someone to pull the knife out. Loyalty is arbitrary and once broken it cannot be fixed. I've watched them try to skew images I clearly see. They have made me undermine my own intellect, disregard my observations. My confrontation is not an attack, it is a challenge. I have watched them walk away so I no longer chase answers, the truth reveals itself gradually and morbidly. I have watched them bring down the guillotine and cry when the head rolls, you call yourself a victim and you're responsible for the toll. 

They have harbored contempt for yearning souls. They have embraced death with an indifferent cold and I'm left in awe. Does any of it matter to them at all. They rationalize experiences selfishly with feigned empathy. They use pretentious jargon and feigned knowledge of the human condition to force a conviction that absolves them from the situation. They claim a lack of self-awareness and expect understanding. They lack self-awareness yet label themselves understanding. I have been forced by circumstance to take accountability for projections of inadequacy. Visualize learning and having to love someone or something because it's the hand you got dealt and the game must go on. 

I empathize with those carrying a heavy load. The weight of loving a lost cause, the pain of running yourself dry knowing nobody cares to water you. Those confronting the harsh reality of insignificance and replaceability. The pain of knowing something has the ability to break you completely and still showing it your soft underside because it seems like the only way you will be happy or fulfilled. Those who hug the proverbial blade hoping to deepen the cut and slip into oblivion. The world has no mercy for broken souls. Our plane fixes broken things by breaking them completely, often it seems that's the most efficient way.