We're bonded

There's a weight we carry that is not talked about enough. I was recently having a conversation with one of my female friends recently and I mentioned to her how I think soul-ties might be real but not in the way we normally visualize it. Most people think a soul-tie  is some sort of demonic HIV. They think that it manifests as an ailment, like you inherit your sexual partner's mental health issues or trauma. I think it is different. A soul tie to me manifests as that vivid flashback of intimacy with your partner. Sometimes 'll be in the middle of a nondescript activity say; walking or doing some household duty and suddenly it will hit me.

I'll remember being seated on a bench in the middle of a grassy field in the middle of July. The weather being chilly and the liquor getting me warm and courageous enough. Not even courageous brazen. I'll remember how her black dress hugged her curves tight and how she slowly walked away from me towards the washrooms. The way I felt my chest tighten up looking at her sensually walk away. These images are burned into my head, into my soul because the emotions and sensations they elicited in me. I revel in the tension, the look in her eyes whenever we're talking. That look that almost always seems to ask " What's your move?". The bawdy jokes and personal revelations that always seem to be geared to making you hot and bothered. 

I cannot bring myself to forget how it felt when our lips finally crashed together, almost hungrily. How the windows fogged up with the heat of our breath. How soft and smooth her skin felt in my hands. How I greedy I was to feel every inch of her body. How her silhouette looked atop of me grasping at me in similar predatory hunger. That's what a soul tie looks like to me, no matter where I am in the world in relation to her I will never be able to forget. It doesn't matter how little we speak now, I will remember how good it was when we did. It will imprint either subtly or explicitly to the next woman I will lay my hands on. I will remember what your body wanted, what you responded to and how you felt.

We're bonded for life. The memories will torment us both, perhaps not equivalently. You will always remember my touch, even when you think you have forgotten me, it will come back to you when you're doing the most non-descript things. Or when you see my name, or when you see the bottle we partook. I am part of you now.