Meet the parents

Part of growing up is realizing your parents are also human. As a kid I used to think my parents could do no wrong, that they always knew what to do and how to do it and when I started seeing otherwise I did not know how to feel. This was during my early teenage years and I think that it somewhat put fuel in my rebellious fire. I was almost offended that somebody who had little or no idea of what was going on in my life was telling me how to live it. I mean they were teenagers decades ago our experience with these years would be totally different. How would they know how it felt like to be a teenager in a whole other century? Not to mention that they made little to no enquiry on how I felt about a situation before telling me how to deal with it. This made me consult them less and less and turning to my peers because they were facing similar scenarios and we could understand each other even if none of us knew what to do. Now I am a little bit older and lately I have had some thoughts. I tried empathizing with them and trying to see my situation from their perspective. See when I was a child my parents did not have to do much to keep me happy, a Sunday outing, new toys, storybooks or making my favorite meal would have me over the moon. As I began forming my own opinions and developing my own perceptions it became easier to differ in views with my parents and become disagreeable. Almost as if my reality and theirs was heaven and earth (or hell). It was all down to perspective. Their 'guidance' came from their own perspective of reality based off of their own experiences, upbringing and thought patterns. I can equate it to being in high-school and seeing primary-school students fuss over how hard what they are learning is or being in form-four and seeing a form-one student failing their classes or complaining and it being almost comical to you because you have been there before and know it is nothing compared to what they are about to experience later. Sometimes our knowledge of a situation and previous experience with it diminishes our empathy for those facing it not knowing that their experience with it may be totally different with ours. They might not be in the same headspace, they might not view it under the same light and it may not hold similar weight as it did to you. A prime example is how our parents generation had little to no regard to their personal feelings when doing things most going as far as letting their lives be dictated by societal views and "...but what will people think" (which still is prevalent today but not as much as back then). With us today there is much emphasis on self-fulfillment and gratification which sometimes parents find queer. Sometimes they find our generation's disregard of others' opinions shocking. I digress (my bad) but my point is there is a huge disconnect between these two generations which plays a huge part in bonds with parents and often leads to misunderstandings. In my opinion, where possible, we should try and bridge the gap through conversation and questions. I for one like picking brains to get information because having an understanding of somebody else's perspective helps so much while trying to make them comprehend something. If you're up to it try.