Sustained voluntary human Interaction

Dysfunctional friendships have become a staple of 21st century humans. Everybody seems to have at least one friend they had a massive falling out with. But again it's a story as old as time, betrayal. (Well I wont be speaking on betrayal but you have to admit I sparked your interest in this article even marginally so). You trust, your trust is used as a leverage to take advantage of you in some way and you get blindsided. This had me thinking, on what basis do we actually vet our potential and existing relationships? Why do we hang out or stay around the people we do?

From my point of view friendship mostly comes down to compatibility. This compatibility stems from a variety of variables (insane wordplay). First of which I think is impression. How does a particular person strike you as? What about them stands out to you and do you like it or not? For example, I could be confident and outspoken and these are good traits to have right? But to some it comes off as strongly opinionated. It all depends on your perception of my traits which in other words is my impression on you (It's a weak metaphorical example but I hope you can see it)

Another factor is your value system. What means the most to you and does the other person hold it with the same weight you do? This is easily the easiest way to gauge a friendship. In my opinion when someone conflicts with your value system, conflict is inevitable and in the same way if we value the same things, if what is important to me is also important to you there's a natural synergy. This is why I always probe into peoples interests and ambitions. Half the time I am able to tell if I can make good friends based off of what they like doing, how much they like doing it and how far they want to take it. I don't necessarily mean that you should have the exact same value system, I'm trying to say that if you are aware of each other's values and are able to strike middle ground on them, there is a higher chance of a flourishing interpersonal relationship. On that note, it's also normal for values to change over a span of time. I think this is the cause of drifting (eurobeat intensifies).

 

Lastly, I'll write a little about compromise (something that's becoming less and less prevalent). I think we're becoming more and more egotistical and it's sad because if you put your individualism before a bond there's bound to be problems. The concessions we make do not have to be monumental, it's as simple as an introverted person going out with their extroverted friend or a friend who doesn't like swimming sitting at the poolside while the other swims. We're all of different personality and preference and only by making mutual concession can there be mutual understanding

I cannot stress it enough, take time to actually know your friends man. Don't base your friendships off of mediocre 21st century standards like how long they take to respond or how often they share your pictures on their social media pages or if they wished you a happy birthday on their story or if they stay awake texting you.( it's actually funny what the expectations are nowadays, either that or I'm spending too much time on twitter). 

                           mic drop