The L

 Defined as attraction but experienced as chaos. I'm unable to place my finger onto what it is exactly, biology or psychology. Is it voluntary or are we unable to escape its grasp. A grasp I would describe as a warm embrace, the sensation of homeliness that overcomes you in the company of the person giving it to you. I'm talking about an emotion, an emotion that all of us have experienced in one way or another, I'm talking about love.

In my really uninformed and perhaps partly biased opinion, love exists in two forms, platonic love and romantic love. The former, in my opinion, is the purest form of love you can give and receive. It is love without conditions and expectations. It does not even need to be acknowledged in it's existence but it is still seldom ever in doubt. It's subtle hence hard to proclaim falsely. It is less complicated and even easier to decipher. All in all there are less variables, less parts involved (insert bawdy laugh)and overall less things to go wrong. In my eyes it is the best kind of love, since it is love without intention so it is less susceptible to selfish interest.

The latter kind of love is romantic. The problematic twin in my eyes. A love that so many proclaim but do not understand. A sort of affection rooted so deeply that it may alter your well-being when you experience it. I have mentioned it being rooted right? This affection's weakness in my eyes is that it is so quick to overcome you that often you do not ask yourself where it stems from. The thing with romance is that you almost cannot experience it without some form of expectation or intentions. You are always looking for something from the person on the other end. Whether it is attention, mutuality or satisfaction. You cannot be in love with someone you expect nothing from and that is my problem. There are terms to it which proper goes against the notion of unconditional love which many proclaim as the foundation of their relationships. So how exactly does romance work? It is insanity to me (here's the bias) it is basically constant compromise in respect to your partner's feelings. Is that what is supposed to be beautiful about it? That you care so much about your significant other that you are willing to make concessions just for them? I guess that's where the mutuality aspect comes in, because your partner is also doing the same, altering themselves to accommodate you. Constantly changing little bits of their every day self just so you can comfortably fit in their regiment. I am very confused, is it true love because I am changing for it or has it been nullified now that I have had to change myself for it? Is it true because you loved me as I was before and choose to do so every day or is it not because I almost always have to alter to ensure you continue to do so. 

In conclusion, I know way too little about this complex emotion but frankly, neither does anybody else yet in a way all of us might have experienced its beauty. It's existence is justified but not understandable.