Terms and Conditions

 Welcome gentlemen, to this contract you signed the day you got both the x and y chromosomes in your DNA. It's a contract that binds you to a role quintessential to the every day existence of the world. One that those who have come before you have relished and conquered thus leading to the very shape and fabric of the world that you live in today. You should be proud that the universe, the fates and the deities have assigned you such a pivotal role. You are a man and there's no greater joy on this planet than it!

I'm sure you're wondering why there is so much hype and hubbub about this role well, we are too but we're here so we might as well do it right? So you grew up looking up to your fellow men who showed greatness in the face of adversity and were rewarded handsomely with prosperity and recognition. Well we are here to inform you that indeed yes, that is one of the very things that is expected of you. You have the responsibility as a person and furthermore as a man to make the world a better place. You WILL show greatness in the face of adversity no matter how tuff the situation is, it is expected of you. Remember the aforementioned prosperity? Yes, it's not assured but you HAVE to keep your head up because nobody will help you do it. Again in the absence of prosperity you will be looked upon for strength in adversity and I'm sure you see the cycle now...

There's a grumble amongst you. I sense dissatisfaction, you feel like you're being short-changed right? That's because you are and again, you will have to get used to it. That is just part of the package. You will always be putting effort in the wrong places, feeling like you are giving more than you are receiving and not getting value for what you provide. That is part of the package of your role as a provider, your job is to avail yourself and your services before ever making a demand, remember that. Mutuality is not a given, take it as an exchange to your good providence.

It's all heavy, but it is a weight you can carry up until you decide to either off yourself, keel over and die or break every breakable part of your body. Despite this you must remember never to show any signs of suffering, you might think we are in this together, some of us might be, though the cancer of human nature still runs in our veins. We are still competing for the best parts of our 21st century habitat. Hunters usually pick out the old ailing and weak, they make the easiest targets. You might not be a hunter, but you also do not want to fall prey.

Another thing you should remember boys! Some people will recognize you, they will take interest in you, there is comfort in that. However, they will only want to go as far as to know you, not to understand you half the time. Some may understand but they will never truly empathize. Only you know your upbringing, your immediate surrounding and how it pertains to your headspace. The other's will know it, see it from afar but never experience it, so always keep this in mind before you express and enact. Again do not under any circumstance express your insecurities to anyone, you may think being vulnerable is the key to getting to intimacy but too much of it and you're pointing out your own shortcomings and projecting. These will be reasons for people to distrust and discredit you. They will always expect a decision, direction or solution from you, so you better make it or else you're incompetent. 

Accountability is yet another expectation of you. You should always be ready to take responsibility for what you do and what happens around you. It is your duty to work towards ensuring that those two things are wholly or mostly in your hands, because nobody else will shoulder their weight. Whether through conviction or compromise, be ready for the laden of responsibility. There will always be someone to blame and that person will mostly if not always be you. Do not think that decision making and being assertive will assist in escaping the pin, rather they will provide more of a reason to put the mud on your hands (you will understand this soon). The best piece of advice I can give you however is make sure you are always comfortable with dealing with the consequences of your own actions or they will make a mountain out of dealing with you. Godspeed!

Its satirical, the fact that I feel the need to point that out speaks volumes in itself.