The way of the superior man

 One of my most recent yet gripping reads has been The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. When Tim, an exceptional writer in his own regard, approached me with the request to review the last book I had read, it seemed like a no-brainer.

David Deida is an American author, speaker, and teacher whose best works revolve around the fields of spiritual growth, personal relationships, and personal development. The Way of the Superior Man, authored in 1997, is his most widely acclaimed work. It is a perfect example of seeing a book and judging it by its cover and it ends up delivering exactly what was promised.

The capability of David to bring together the fields of Eastern medicine and spirituality and put ting them in the context of psychology is nothing short of refreshing.

The book itself, having been authored in 1997, remains relevant to this day, especially in a world where there is a need for most men to regain their sense of masculine authority or where for some there was no masculine authority in their lives. However, I would like to also point out that this book is not only for men, but if you are a lady and you are curious about the male psyche and the male perspective, definitely pick it up, because I believe you cannot coexist with those who you do not understand. He fantastically teaches lessons on women, work, and sexual desire. His approach gives priceless guidance on fostering mutual understanding and stronger relationships

The book's central theme is how the masculine correlates with the feminine and how men should look to balance their purpose and relationships while at the same time improving themselves.

One of the most fundamental teachings Deida has in his book is that as a man, your purpose should always come before your relationships.

Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.

I concur with this and I believe indeed that your fulfilment is not drawn from your purpose rather than your relationships. When you focus your energy on achieving your purpose, everything else falls in line with it.

It drew out a different viewpoint as to how the concept of relationships should be approached. He states that you will always attract a woman who is your polar opposite, that being a masculine man is attracted to a feminine woman. Relationships are then based on attraction between the polar opposites and the differences are what sustain them. For a masculine man, the attraction to the feminine is inevitable and denial of this very attraction robs the opportunity to embrace masculinity, and this for me seemed like one of the best ways in which this concept has ever been illustrated. That led to my realization that the feminine has always been abundant; it has never lacked, only resistance to claim it. This explains why most of the women I have talked to keep telling stories of how there seems to be a shortage of ‘good’ men.

The tonality of the book led me to really be insightful as to how the modern age has affected the way relationships are viewed and how, in a world where connectedness seemed to be the agenda of the digital era, there seems to be a rift between the sexes. The content of Deida’s book seems to try and bridge this gap by explaining not only the expectations of the masculine but also how these expectations are not a burden but a duty and responsibility that, when carried out as they should lead to satisfaction of both factions and thereby flourishing careers, relationships, and societies at large.

This, however, is only the tip of the iceberg. There are lessons in the book that you could write a whole thesis on. From how to make sex enjoyable to the both of you as partners to how to sustain intimacy by sustaining the polarity. The Way of the Superior Man is a must read, I feel, for all men. I would go as far as saying every man above the age of 18 should read it at least once in their lifetime.

As I end this piece, a question to you, my dear reader, for sticking thus far: what does being a superior man look like to you?